29 September 2015 @ 12:04 pm
love me instead, senpai! (for zyxisagod)  
For: [livejournal.com profile] zyxisagod
From: [livejournal.com profile] darkyulate

Title: love me instead, senpai!
Rating: PG-13
Length: 3884 words
Summary: It’s about time Joonmyun and Jongdae got together.
Warning/s: over usage of the word ‘fuck’, sexual situations/scenarios, no… actual… sex

Notes: thanks to my beta who came through for me last minute! to my recipient, although this may not be what you were expecting it to be, I hope you enjoy it! :3




Joonmyun grimaces as his phone lights up with an unknown number. For a second, he contemplates whether he should pick it up. In the past, picking his phone up to answer unknown numbers always meant a little bit of fun. But as the years added up to his age, and work became one of his main priorities, answering his phone meant important time wasted. He sighs and picks it up anyways.

"Hey, is this Joonmyun?" says a deep accented voice. "Chen told me to call you?"

Joonmyun's eye twitches at the mention of the nickname and he barely manages to hold in a sigh before he replies, "I'm sorry. You've got the wrong number."

As soon as the call ends, Joonmyun promises himself not to answer anymore unknown numbers. Not today at least, he thinks before going back to the papers on top of his desk.









Joonmyun has just stepped inside his apartment when the aroma of food drifts to him. He looks at the floor by the doorway and frowns when he finds familiar worn sneakers.

"Jongdae?" he calls out as he undoes his tie. When no reply comes, he goes straight to the kitchen, where the sound of something cooking is the loudest. He catches his best friend in the middle of the messy kitchen, hips swaying to the music only he can hear. For a moment, all Joonmyun does is look, admiring the curves of his hips as he juts them to and fro. His heart skips a beat as soft humming accompanies the dance.

"Hey," Joonmyun tries again even though he knows that the buds in Jongdae's ear almost make him deaf. He shakes his head as he walks close enough to pull one bud away and blows at the back of Jongdae's ear.

"Holy shit, Kim Joonmyun!" Jongdae whirls around, almost trapped in between Joonmyun and the stove. He's wearing Joonmyun's favorite apron, the one that says 'kiss the cook' in fancy English lettering.

Joonmyun's throat dries a little.

"When did you get home?" Jongdae asks as he shoves Joonmyun back a little to resume his cooking.

Joonmyun obliges, moving out of Jongdae's way and watching his best friend cook. It's always been a beautiful sight to him, watching how Jongdae easily navigates through the cupboards and drawers to get everything he needs. It may be Joonmyun's apartment but it feels like Jongdae lives in it more than he does.

"Just now," Joonmyun replies. He keeps his eyes on Jongdae, thinking he can watch his best friend cook forever. Until Jongdae breaks the moment with a question.

"So—" Jongdae wiggles his eyebrows at Joonmyun. "—did you get a call from Kris?"

Something shatters, and Joonmyun thinks he may have dropped a glass or knocked over a plate, but realizes that it’s only just this moment with Jongdae that’s being ruined.

He backs away from the kitchen and sits by the counter.

"Jongdae." Joonmyun tries to sound stern, but it comes out more tired than anything else. "Haven't we talked about this already?"

From the counter, Joonmyun can only see Jongdae's back but he knows that there's a pout on those pretty lips, a furrow on those cute eyebrows. It almost makes him want to apologize but he needs to stand by his choices.

Jongdae looks absolutely pitiful when he turns to Joonmyun, bottom lip trapped in between pearly whites and eyes wide and shiny. "I just don't get it," he whines.

Joonmyun closes his eyes, shielding his resolve from such a sight. That kicked puppy look has gotten him into some of the worst situations possible. (But nothing he ever truly regrets. He can never regret anything when it comes to Jongdae.)

He sighs as he shifts his gaze, hearing the pan simmer before Jongdae turns down the fire. "What's more to explain? I already told you that I'm tired of this game. I don't wanna sleep with people I don't know anymore. I don't want to sleep with your one night stands anymore."

"But you still haven't told me why!" Jongdae almost shouts but he still manages to give Joonmyun the dinner he was cooking for them without throwing it to his face.

Joonmyun focuses on the food offered to him, refusing to look his best friend in the eye. He'd given Jongdae a million reasons as to why he wanted to stop but for some reason or another, Jongdae alway knew he was lying. He told him it was because of work and got told he was a lying bastard. He tried saying he was too tired for sex and got a recollection of his sexcapades dating back from uni until recently. Now, he can't say anything without it sounding like a petty excuse.

"Come on," Jongdae says, a challenge in his tone. "Just tell me the truth."

The truth. If Joonmyun were to tell Jongdae the truth, there was a risk of losing something important in Joonmyun's life. He chances Jongdae a glance and catches the younger mumbling to himself as he pokes at his food. Joonmyun knows for a fact that he could lose this if he told Jongdae the truth.

Because the truth is, Joonmyun is in love with Jongdae and has been for a number of years now. He no longer finds comfort or fun in holding people whose faces he doesn't even recall after one night. He no longer wishes to embrace anyone but Jongdae. Now he finds it disgusting that Jongdae can sleep with so many men and women, and expect Joonmyun to sleep with them once Jongdae is done with them. He can't even fathom the thought that ever since college, this was how he treated his one night stands, too.

"Hyuuuung~" Jongdae waves his hand in front of Joonmyun's face, snapping him out of his daze.

"You won't believe me anyway."









"You won't believe me anyway," Jongdae mocks, scrunching his face for added effect.

"He really said that?" Baekhyun asks like he really can't believe it but Jongdae knows his friend well enough it's all just fake interest in the conversation. After all, Baekhyun has had to hear Jongdae whine about Joonmyun since they were freshmen.

Jongdae ignores Baekhyun and continues his rant. "I mean, he was practically undressing me while I was cooking! It's not like it would be hard for me to believe him if he told me he loved me."

Baekhyun tsks. "Why don't you just tell him you love him instead?"

Jongdae grumbles as he resumes furiously typing his manuscript. "It's no fun that way. Besides, it's technically his fault we were playing this game of 'sleep with my one night stands'."

"You know, you should probably name that game of yours something else. Maybe something like 'fuck my fuck buddy'!"

"First of all, fuck buddies mean more than one fuck. We only did each other's one night stands. Second of all, that is besides the point. Let's focus on the real problem, shall we? How can I seduce Joonmyun hyung into confessing to me?" Jongdae huffs.

"Tsk. Killjoy," Baekhyun mutters but Jongdae hears anyway and swats him on the arm. "Okay fine. Here's an idea. Why don't you stop pretending that you're sleeping with other people?"

Jongdae hums for a second. "I guess it'd do me good to stop asking random people to ring Joonmyun's phone for me."

Baekhyun gives him a pointed look which Jongdae ignores.

"I still don't really get why you did it in the first place," Baekhyun says but it sounds more like a question. Jongdae sighs as he decides to waste precious brainstorming minutes to dignify Baekhyun a reply.

"It was supposed to make him jealous! Jealousy was one of the surest ways to get under his skin and make him stake his claim on me." Jongdae crosses his arms.

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. "And look where that got you."

"Okay, what else should I do?" Jongdae asks, ignoring Baekhyun's side comments.

"Why don't you just take off all his clothes, chain him to the bed, and tease him until he says that he loves you," Baekhyun says with all seriousness. Jongdae eyes him carefully.

"Kinky but too kinky. Knowing Joonmyun hyung, he'd probably blame himself for the whole thing and decide not to see me for like a month. But I will keep the idea for back up."

"Well, I'm all out." Baekhyun sprawls on the couch beside Jongdae. "My brain's too dead from editing to give you anything at the moment. Besides, you're the writer. Think of something."

Jongdae hums for a few seconds before the click of keyboards replace them. Baekhyun turns a curious eye at his close friend and catches the serious determination in his eyes. He decides to leave Jongdae alone with his keyboard and waits for the sound of furious typing to stop.

"I've got it," is the last whisper Baekhyun hears before he falls asleep.









Joonmyun bolts from the bed as he realizes that the ringing inside his room is not from his phone but from the doorbell. Mumbling curses to himself, Joonmyun rubs the crust from his eyes as he tries and fails to not glare at his very rude visitor.

"Good morning Joonmyun hyung!" Jongdae greets, his bags in his hands making it obvious to Joonmyun why he couldn't just use his spare key to open the door.

"What's going on?" Joonmyun groggily asks when Jongdae pushes past him.

"There's a lot of trouble going on in my apartment complex. Some plumbing. There's apparently parasites too, I think. It might be getting renovated as well. Long story short, I've got no place to stay." He turns to Joonmyun then with his puppy dog pout and says, in the sweetest voice Joonmyun's ever heard, "Can I stay with you, hyung?"

Fuck. Joonmyun subtly looks down and sighs in relief when he spots no tents in his pants. "Sure," he croaks out. Wincing at his tone, he clears his throat and repeats. "Sure. Stay as long as you want."

The smile on Jongdae's face looks a bit like innocence and sin rolled into one that it sends dizzy spells in Joonmyun's way. When Jongdae jumps onto him, arms and legs wrapped around his body, Joonmyun feels like he might really pop a boner this time.

"Thanks, hyung," Jongdae whispers by his ears. His breath tickles his skin, the heat of his body sending jolts of electricity down his spine. And his voice! Like musical notes that make his blood rush.

This time for sure Joonmyun knows he's hard.









Jongdae smirks as he peers down at Joonmyun's face. It's been three days since Joonmyun let him stay in his large apartment, allowing Jongdae to occupy the guest room. Jongdae just thinks it’s a stupid idea every time he sneaks into Joonmyun's bed for a cuddle sometime in the middle of the night. When morning comes, Jongdae makes sure to wake up earlier than usual to grant Joonmyun the pleasure of him being the first sight he sees when he opens his eyes.

Today is no different. Jongdae's smirk turns into a soft smile as he watches Joonmyun's face scrunch up before relaxing, looking like he did back when they'd been in university and Jongdae watched Joonmyun sleep in the library. His heart races when Joonmyun mumbles a little, his voice a ghost of a whisper that Jongdae just barely manages to catch the soft, "...dae..."

He brushes a few of Joonmyun's hair away from his eyes, fingers tracing the contours of his glowing skin.

"Hyung," Jongdae whispers, fingers still busy drawing lines on soft skin. "Hyung wake up."

Joonmyun mumbles again, turning on the bed and facing away from Jongdae. Jongdae pouts at the position before quickly remedying it. He pushes Joonmyun back on the bed and moves to straddle the older, their hips perfectly aligned. He tries not to think about the morning wood pressing against his ass as he leans down too close on Joonmyun's face.

"Hyuuuuuuung," Jongdae says a little louder. "Wake up!" He even taps Joonmyun's face for extra measure.

From this distance, Jongdae watches as Joonmyun's eyelids flutter open, captivating him more than the sight of the sunrise.

"Shit!" Joonmyun shouts getting up and pushing Jongdae back but accidentally bumping their heads.

"Fuck!" Jongdae drops to the side of the bed, a hand on his sore forehead. "What the fuck, hyung?"

"What were you doing?" Joonmyun manages to ask despite the throbbing racking his body.

Seducing you, duh! is what Jongdae really wants to say but he smiles sweetly, regaining his composure and posing on the bed. "Waking you up, duh!"

Joonmyun gives him a skeptical look but Jongdae only winks. Joonmyun mumbles to himself again, a lot softer than when he was asleep but Jongdae's close enough to catch some of the words. (Or at least what he thinks are the words.)

Fuck... Jongdae... Blue balls

Jongdae tries his best not to preen. He does when Joonmyun finally steps in the shower, even rolls around in bed in glee. He's 100% sure he knows what Joonmyun means. And if he's right, then before the week ends, Joonmyun's finally finally going to be his boyfriend!

He proceeds to make breakfast with a spring in his step, humming and swaying his hips as he whips up some of Joonmyun's favorite.

"You seem really happy," Joonmyun comments when he finally joins him, dressed and ready for work. "Had a good fuck yesterday?"

Jongdae tries not to scowl at that question. In all honesty, he hasn't gotten laid in a year. When he realized his freshman crush on Joonmyun turned into something more, the regular one night stands helped his feelings feel less unrequited. But when he finally caught on to Joonmyun's feelings, he stopped with the rebounds and made the real thing his goal. And now, for his goal, Jongdae drops 'Operation: Make Hyung Jealous' and proceeds with phase 2 of 'Operation: Foolproof Seduction'.

"Nah," Jongdae admits. "I'm kind of done with that lifestyle." He tries not to say more, afraid he'll confess right then and there and lose the opportunity of hearing Joonmyun say it first.

Jongdae ignores the shocked look on Joonmyun's face and shrugs. He smirks as he focuses on his food, hoping Joonmyun doesn't catch on.









Joonmyun stares at his computer, the words and graphs not really registering to him. He can still see Jongdae, the Jongdae who sleeps curled into Joonmyun's back, the Jongdae who'd smiled at him as they ate breakfast. Jongdae Jongdae Jongdae.

"Joonmyun!"

Joonmyun whips his head to the side so fast he gives himself a headache. "Minseok hyung," he says while wincing.

"You've been looking at your laptop without blinking, did you know that?" Minseok chuckles. "I know we're not a big business yet but I don't think your workload's so heavy you're falling asleep with your eyes open."

Joonmyun wants to protest but being business partners, he's pretty sure his workload is almost equal to Minseok's.

"Why're you here, hyung? Is something the matter?" Joonmyun segues.

"Wanted to see if you were up for lunch out of the office. I've been getting real sick of fast food."

Joonmyun looks at his laptop, the powerpoint still not making sense to him and closes it. "Let's go."

They go to a nearby restaurant that isn't fast food but cooks their meal fast enough that they don't waste their lunch hour waiting for it.

Joonmyun's in the middle of his second bite when Minseok asks, "So, what's been bothering you lately?"

Joonmyun knows if he dodges this question, Minseok will not stop hounding him for an answer. He uses the time to swallow down his second bite to think about whether to tell the truth.

"Jongdae—"

"I knew it!"

"What?"

Minseok laughs. "Sorry sorry! Just that usually when you get all unfocused about work it's because of Jongdae. Would've called you out on it if you lied to me."

Joonmyun barely manages to suppress a groan.

"What's the problem?"

"He's staying at my place," Joonmyun says through gritted teeth.

"That doesn't sound like a bad thing."

"And he told me he stopped sleeping with other people."

"I still don't see what the problem is."

Joonmyun sighs. "The problem is that I'm going to get blue balls by the end of the week and we're still not together."

Minseok clicks his tongue. "That's not a problem at all! I'm pretty sure if you asked, Jongdae would be yours in a heartbeat."

"You don't really know that." Joonmyun shakes his head. "I'm his best friend and I don't really know that."

Minseok rolls his eyes. "You make it sound like I don't know Jongdae all that well. We're in the same fucking friend group, dumbass."

"Sorry," Joonmyun mumbles, wincing at Minseok's tone. "I didn't mean it that way."

Minseok sighs. It's the kind of deep heavy woosh of air that gets Joonmyun to look at Minseok's face, see him eye to eye. "I know what you're trying to say, but also try to listen to what I’m saying. Jongdae is not sleeping around anymore. He's even staying in your apartment! Maybe, just maybe, this is the chance you've been waiting for."

Joonmyun is quiet for a few seconds, digesting Minseok's words before humming in agreement.

"Maybe," he says with a smile on his face.









"How's your 'Operation: Foolproof Seduction' going?" is the first thing Baekhyun asks when he comes by Joonmyun's apartment to get Jongdae's manuscript.

Jongdae sighs as he slides a mug of coffee and a thick brown envelope towards Baekhyun. "It's a bit of a bust. Last night, Phase 3: Be Really Clingy And Accidentally Dry Hump failed miserably. I’m planning on skipping Phases 4 and 5 and do Back Up Phase 1 instead."

Baekhyun squints at Jongdae before nodding.

"Is back up phase 1 my super kinky idea?"

Jongdae laughs. "Nope. That's Back Up Phase 2. Back Up Phase 1 is," Jongdae's eyes glint as he eyes Joonmyun's favorite apron, folded neatly on the counter. "Naked Apron."

Baekhyun chokes on his coffee.









Joonmyun whistles a tune while he does his best to unlock his door. It's a little hard with the cake in his hand but he manages. After all, the cake is a very important part of dinner for tonight.

After Minseok encouraged (more like pushed) Joonmyun into confessing, Joonmyun found himself with the brightest idea for a confession tonight. And he was going to do it with the help of this very beautiful cake.

When he finally opens the door, he expects the wonderful smell of dinner to welcome him. Instead, nothing comes, not a smell or a sound. It's beginning to feel a little eerie that it gets his heart racing.

"Jongdae?" he calls out loud, finding his kitchen empty.

"Jongdae!" he shouts, when no one replies. He checks Jongdae's room first and curses when he finds no one. His heart threatens to leap out of his ribs when he decides on checking his room.

"Jongdae?" he tries again as he opens the door.

Joonmyun's eyes widen at the sight before him. Jongdae looks very much safe and unharmed but more than that, he looks very much naked. He swallows as his throat dries. The lines on Jongdae’s back look so much clearer shining under the bedroom’s light. He can see a small bow resting atop the slope of Jongdae's ass and it looks very inviting.

Jongdae does this thing where he turns just the slightest towards Joonmyun, giving him the sight of part of his apron and his perky nipples peeking from the space in between.

"Hyung?" Jongdae practically purrs.

Joonmyun drops the cake.

"Shit!"

Joonmyun winces at the crooked box on the floor and looks back at Jongdae, still standing naked in his favorite apron before him. Unable to really process the situation, he drops to his knees and focuses on the ruined cake. The lettering on top of the icing is completely ruined, almost unreadable, but he can still make out most of 'love' and some of 'you'.

"Are you for real?” Jongdae says, almost a shout. Joonmyun flinches at the tone. “I'm almost naked in front of you, and you still care more about the cake than me?" Jongdae looks absolutely put out when plops on the bed.

Joonmyun looks at the pout on Jongdae's lips, the sight of his glistening skin that the apron can't cover, his words echoing all around his room and finally pieces together something. He takes the box with him and sits beside his friend. Jongdae refuses to look at him but he does lean onto Joonmyun, so he takes it as a good sign.

"I just thought this time for sure you'd realize it," Jongdae whispers, mostly to himself. "Just thought this time you'd finally notice me."

Joonmyun takes hold of Jongdae's hand and squeezes. "I do notice you."

Jongdae looks up at that and his eyes twinkle under the light in his bedroom. It's the most endearing sight.

"I see you more clearly than anyone I've ever known and this time it was just a little hard for me to see what you were trying to tell me," Joonmyun says with a smile. At Jongdae's hopeful look, Joonmyun decides to continue.

"Actually," Joonmyun clears his throat as he pushes the box of cake towards Jongdae. "I was planning on telling you how I feel with the cake, and that's why I was worried about dropping it."

Jongdae stares a little awestruck at the cake in his hands despite the icing looking lopsided.

"Does this say what I think it says?" Jongdae asks, voice soft but tinged with anticipation.

"I love you."

Joonmyun tries not to laugh when Jongdae whips his head too fast just to look at him. His eyes shine with unshed tears as he wraps his arms around Joonmyun.

"I love you, too," he whispers.

Joonmyun places the cake somewhere else before wrapping his arms around Jongdae.

"If you loved me too, why didn't you just tell me in the first place?" Joonmyun teases as he pulls Jongdae into his lap.

Jongdae pulls away from the embrace and pouts at him. "Because I wanted to hear you say it first. It was your idea that got us into this mess anyway. It would give me the greatest satisfaction if you confessed first, because I fell in love with you first."

Joonmyun laughs as the reminder of a drunken bet between the two of them comes to mind. College students at college parties come up with some of the stupidest games.

"Well, now you'll have to get used to me telling you 'I love you' because I'm never going to stop." Joonmyun smirks up at Jongdae as he pulls him closer.

"Give it your best shot, hyung," Jongdae breathes, lips almost brushing against Joonmyun's. "Because I'll never get tired of hearing it."

Jongdae doesn't wait for Joonmyun to reply before pulling him in for a kiss. Joonmyun smiles at Jongdae's eagerness before kissing back, bringing them both down to the bed where they can tangle their limbs together. Joonmyun has every plans of enjoying Jongdae in his naked apron.

But that's a story for another day.



i may or may not add in a smut part when reveals is over :DDDDDDD